Random Review: The Earth

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67,000 miles per hour.

67,000

SIXTY. SEVEN. T-H-O-U-S-A-N-D.

(Or 107,000 km/h. Apologies to all our readers in normal countries that use the far superior metric system, rather than resist it for reasons that make no sense. We’re weird. And stubborn.)

This number changes everything. For example:

You walk out of your house to find that somebody keyed your car? That sucks. But just remember: you are currently doing 67,000 mph around a massive flaming ball of hydrogen and helium!

Not very good at snowboarding? Who wouldn’t be catching their heel side edge all the time? You’re flying around at 67,000 mph while simultaneously sliding down a mountain with your feet strapped to a board … while the earth is ALSO rotating on its axis at 1,000 mph!!!! The difference between you and Shaun White is practically imperceptible.

Hate your job? Next time you’re on some horrible conference call, just remember: you are currently rocketing so fast through the galaxy that we’re going to have to invent some new verbs to try to capture the magnitude of your rocketeering. You are hypersizzling through space.

This also makes everything you’ve ever done infinitely more impressive:

Poured yourself a cup of coffee this morning and didn’t spill? Dude, you did that while hurtling through space at preposterous speeds and spinning endless 3s!?!? You need to GoPro that shit.

If you think I’m getting a little carried away about all this, then I challenge you to name a more amazing fact or stat.

Take your time.

If there are contenders out there, it seems like the Top 3 Most Amazing Things Ever are:

1) How the universe began. Whatever your science or theology, whether we’re talking big bangs or giant cosmic turtles, it’s all pretty impressive.

2) Tie: that the Mayans actually built those temples, and that the Egyptians actually built those pyramids.

3) Octopuses. Octopi are straight up make believe. Have you seen those things? They have three hearts, no skeleton, and their arms grow back. They’re far more unbelievable than unicorns. Actually, they should probably be #1 on this list.

Octopus, Blister Gear Review
Why unicorns are overrated.

But at the end of the day, I think the fact that every one of us is on a rock that’s zooming around at 67,000 mph still wins. It’s freaking awesome.

Both the poorest person in the world and the richest person in the world are each aboard the same ultra-high-performance earthship. You really care whether you own some car that only does 200 mph? Right now, you’re going about 88 TIMES THE SPEED OF SOUND. You’re pulling Mach 88.

Speeds of Mach 10-25 are categorized as “High-Hypersonic.” The speed we’re doing could only be classified as “Hella-High-Hypersonic.” 67,000 mph is no joke. Commit it to memory. Neil Armstrong’s got very little on you.

And don’t be lame and point out that it doesn’t feel like we’re hurtling around space at practically unimaginable speeds. That makes it even more remarkable: Doing 67k like it’s nothing. I don’t care that it seems like you aren’t moving at all. Fact is, you’re not only moving, you’re hauling major ass and spinning. You are. I am too—while TYPING this. We are incredible. I raise my glass to you.

Bottom Line

The earth is astonishing, and we are all, everyday, on the ride of our lives. We ought to show a little gratitude for our amazing situation by remembering one of the greatest numbers ever:

67,000.

Don’t forget. And spread the word.

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17 comments on “Random Review: The Earth”

  1. So, “summer slump” also exists on blister (yet, lot’s of fun to read and definitely going to “go pro” my next morning coffee or red bull…)

        • Yep. A number of them, actually. As for the Armada Declivity, we haven’t skied it yet, but when checking it out, the ski that it reminded me the most of was the 13/14 Volkl Mantra, if that Mantra had more tip rocker and a more tear-dropped shape tip (cf. the Scott Punisher).

          So we’d still like to ski it, but weight-wise, it honestly seemed like a tweaked Mantra that Armada is touting is a backcountry ski. Not that there is anything wrong with that – and I’m psyched to see a company be like, “Screw it. We made our BC ski heavier because we want it to ski well in rough conditions.” But figured that little bit of info might be of interest to you & some others.

  2. Great article! I knew it was fast but not that fast. Next time I see you please quiz me. I will not forget 67K MPH. Another fun fact that you should consider for your top 3 list is time is relative. When I first learned that fact from Einstein I had to put the book down. It absolutely blew my mind. Thanks for sharing, and great article once again.

  3. That’s pretty fast, Jonathan. But it’s the fact that our acceleration equals 0 that keeps us from flying around, even more amazing.

    And where are the rocker profile pics? You guys are slacking.

    • Ha. And we didn’t even get a “BLISTER’s Measured Weight,” either. Definitely slacking.

      The constant speed part of all this is definitely amazing. “Doing 67k like it’s nothing.” That the ride never gets bumpy, so we do stay put – 100% of the time … just seems like there ought to be an occasional hiccup (with catastrophic consequences). Hmmm, might have to bump the Mayans out of the top 3, too.

  5. Jonathan, never would I dare disrespect the earth…and to the big pow ski review – it is awesome and the pictures make you want skip summer (although there is currently really none in Europe with 10 degrees celsius and constant rain even in Spain…)

  6. Your list should include these guys: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp

    And the speed of light. And quantum electro dynamics. And the fact that we have all been through two supernovae. And science. Without science, we would be oblivious to all the other things. Except the Mantis Shrimp. We would not understand what makes it awsome, though. And likely have thought it was some kind of demon. And have been right in that assumption.

    • Good call, Simen. Mantis Shrimp are definitely amazing little demons, and definitely deserve to be on the list. (And that comic is the greatest thing to ever be posted on the Internet.)

      I have a weird take on the speed of light: it’s too fast to even begin to wrap your head around it. It’s a little too incomprehensible. My brain just goes to static. Plus, we’re not flying around on light in the way that we are flying around on this really big rock that’s going 67,000 mph. So all due respect to the speed of light for sure, but the speed of the earth wins my personal little vote.

      And can “science” really be on the list? Wouldn’t you have to instead go with The Scientific Method? Or cognition?

  7. Jonathan, thank you for sharing that amazing fact, 67,000 mph is mind boggling. Octopuses, Time, Speed of Light, Temples, Pyramids all make you stop and think, holy sh_t, truly amazing. I will pass it on.

    Two feet of uncut Pow ranks up there.

  10. Lets not forget that we are dragging the moon around with us at the same rate. However, the Moon orbits Earth at a speed of 2,288 miles per hour (3,683 kilometers per hour). During this time it travels a distance of 1,423,000 miles (2,290,000 kilometers). More geeky facts.

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